Ok, I have to put this out there, and I hope that I don't get hubby into any hot water, but there are some folks out there who need to know....
Just because he works for the government, does NOT mean that our health care is free. It does not mean that we are living on easy street.
But most of all, it does NOT mean that he does not work.
In fact, he is one of the hardest working men that I have ever known. He does stuff. REAL stuff. Manned Spaceflight kind of stuff. He works to advance the knowledge base of the world. He works to keep our friends safe as they live and work above the Earth. He has to leave his family to make sure that others can do their jobs. He accumulates vacation that he never gets to use. He stresses, he worries, he gets frustrated...just like everyone else.
Taxes come out of his paycheck, just like they do yours. When you stop and think about it, his taxes have a shorter trip out of his check and back to the government than others.
Don't forget, when someone is bashing ALL government employees, they are bashing my husband...and that pisses me off. We are your neighbors, your friends, your drinking buddies. We worry, just as every other normal, working person does.
He works for the government....he is NOT the government. You see, the government is made up of elected officials. You, in fact, ARE paying them directly when you compare their paychecks to my husband's paychecks. When you look at the nation's budget, the meager part that his salary is carved out of doesn't even amount to one-half of one percent.
It's not just him....it's also our friends and loved ones who earn their salary by working for the government. When you talk trash about them, it hurts.
So all that I'm saying is, when you decide to talk mess about government employees, make sure that you have the right group of people in mind. You should make sure that your trash talking is directed at POLITICIANS. Not these hard working women and men at NASA. Not your friendly mail carriers. Not the men and women who pick up the trash, work on the roads, keep our national parks and museums open, process passports, and the like.
In closing, if you talk trash about my husband and his co-workers, be prepared to see me go 50 shades of cray-cray from my soapbox.
Thank you, and good night.
Monday, September 30, 2013
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Is a rainbow worth it?
Ok, so you read the title and you think, "What kind of question is that? What is this crazy broad talking about?" Well, give me a minute, and I'll tell you.
Let me back up by first saying that while I may not be the most religious person, I am deeply spiritual and full of the faith of God. With that being said, I have told my sweet Tots, maybe once or twice, that only God loves her more than Daddy and Mommy do. At 2.5 years old (and that .5 years is very important to a person her age) I have believed that if she were actually paying attention to me when I said this, that she didn't really get it. And that's cool....she's got the rest of her life to get it, right? Right.
Well, yesterday morning, Tots was doing her typical last minute dwadle in getting out of the door to go to school. This particular morning was different. I had to drop Tots off at her Amie's house so that I could get Toots to a doctor's appointment by 9A. I had packed a breakfast bento box for Tots, got her lunch together, had an extra-extra set of clothes packed in her backpack and had given her the "please behave like a civilized person" talk. The, "please-for-the-love-of-all-that-is-holy-behave-for-like-a-perfect-angel-for-Amie-so-that-she-will-look-after-you-again-when-Mommy-is-in-a-bind-because-I-trust-her-so-completely-with-you-and-she-is-my-right-hand-woman" talk. You know the one. I'm sure that some of you, out there in cyberland, have given that speech to your kids.
So, anyway, it's getting late. Later than I want it to be, and we need to get going. For anyone who knows me, you know that I absolutely HATE being late for anything. Shoot, I even have my babies early! That's how much I hate being late.
But, it's getting late. And Tots is doing her thing.. And I'm wanting her to hurry up, because we have to go from Clear Lake to down past the Astrodome by 9A. That's quite a drive in morning traffic, and it could take upwards of an hour to get there....and we're late.
I finally wrangle Toots into her carseat, and get both girls into the car. I pull out of the garage and we're off to Amie's house. As I round the corner from our house, I look up and see an absolutely beautiful rainbow, arced against a sky so perfectly gray, it looked like smooth slate. The colors were so very vivid, like nothing I had ever seen before. And I wanted Tots to see it. Yes, we were running late, but for some reason, I was compelled to pull the car over, take her out of her car seat, hoist her up into the air, and point out this perfect rainbow. Upon closer inspection, we saw that it was not only a beautiful rainbow, it was a beautiful, PERFECT DOUBLE rainbow!!! O. M. G!!! It was amazing. It was an unbroken arc across this sky. It was like all of the color had been removed from the sky so that these rainbows could dance.
I know, I know.....refraction and reflection of light throug a prisim, rhodopsin synthesis and deactivation, visual transduction pathways, blah, blah, blah.....But....
This looked like it had been painted on the sky, at exactly that particular moment in time, to see what decision I would make. It was a test. Would I take the time to see the beauty AND show my daughter? Or, would I rush through it and hope that I would see something like that again?
I took the time. It wasn't much time, but I took it. We got out and looked at those rainbows.
As I was putting Tots back in her seat, I said to her, "You see Honey-Bunny? Those rainbows are God saying, 'I love you.'"
And, with the sincerity that only a two-and-a-half year old can have, she put her hands on my cheeks and said to me, "Mommy, only God loves you more than I do."
To. My. Knees.
So, I think that I passed that test.
You see, by the time that we got to Amie's house (less than 5 minutes away) and I told her about it...it was gone. I mean, it was still hanging in the sky when we pulled into her driveway and walked up to the door. Not two minutes later, it was gone.
We may, or may not see such a beautiful set of rainbows ever again....but Tots and I got to share a rare, special moment, all because I took a breath and chose to show her this. As if God, Himself, orchestrated these rainbows....to remind me to stop worrying about the clock all of the time? To remember my blessings? To know that Tots is a deeply loving, caring, beautiful, and observant person who really "gets it" and that if I just stop for one minute, I could learn so much from her.....?
I don't know, but I do know the value of a rainbow.
So, ask me if a rainbow is worth it...
I'll tell you, "Oh yes. It's worth more than you know."
Let me back up by first saying that while I may not be the most religious person, I am deeply spiritual and full of the faith of God. With that being said, I have told my sweet Tots, maybe once or twice, that only God loves her more than Daddy and Mommy do. At 2.5 years old (and that .5 years is very important to a person her age) I have believed that if she were actually paying attention to me when I said this, that she didn't really get it. And that's cool....she's got the rest of her life to get it, right? Right.
Well, yesterday morning, Tots was doing her typical last minute dwadle in getting out of the door to go to school. This particular morning was different. I had to drop Tots off at her Amie's house so that I could get Toots to a doctor's appointment by 9A. I had packed a breakfast bento box for Tots, got her lunch together, had an extra-extra set of clothes packed in her backpack and had given her the "please behave like a civilized person" talk. The, "please-for-the-love-of-all-that-is-holy-behave-for-like-a-perfect-angel-for-Amie-so-that-she-will-look-after-you-again-when-Mommy-is-in-a-bind-because-I-trust-her-so-completely-with-you-and-she-is-my-right-hand-woman" talk. You know the one. I'm sure that some of you, out there in cyberland, have given that speech to your kids.
So, anyway, it's getting late. Later than I want it to be, and we need to get going. For anyone who knows me, you know that I absolutely HATE being late for anything. Shoot, I even have my babies early! That's how much I hate being late.
But, it's getting late. And Tots is doing her thing.. And I'm wanting her to hurry up, because we have to go from Clear Lake to down past the Astrodome by 9A. That's quite a drive in morning traffic, and it could take upwards of an hour to get there....and we're late.
I finally wrangle Toots into her carseat, and get both girls into the car. I pull out of the garage and we're off to Amie's house. As I round the corner from our house, I look up and see an absolutely beautiful rainbow, arced against a sky so perfectly gray, it looked like smooth slate. The colors were so very vivid, like nothing I had ever seen before. And I wanted Tots to see it. Yes, we were running late, but for some reason, I was compelled to pull the car over, take her out of her car seat, hoist her up into the air, and point out this perfect rainbow. Upon closer inspection, we saw that it was not only a beautiful rainbow, it was a beautiful, PERFECT DOUBLE rainbow!!! O. M. G!!! It was amazing. It was an unbroken arc across this sky. It was like all of the color had been removed from the sky so that these rainbows could dance.
I know, I know.....refraction and reflection of light throug a prisim, rhodopsin synthesis and deactivation, visual transduction pathways, blah, blah, blah.....But....
This looked like it had been painted on the sky, at exactly that particular moment in time, to see what decision I would make. It was a test. Would I take the time to see the beauty AND show my daughter? Or, would I rush through it and hope that I would see something like that again?
I took the time. It wasn't much time, but I took it. We got out and looked at those rainbows.
As I was putting Tots back in her seat, I said to her, "You see Honey-Bunny? Those rainbows are God saying, 'I love you.'"
And, with the sincerity that only a two-and-a-half year old can have, she put her hands on my cheeks and said to me, "Mommy, only God loves you more than I do."
To. My. Knees.
So, I think that I passed that test.
You see, by the time that we got to Amie's house (less than 5 minutes away) and I told her about it...it was gone. I mean, it was still hanging in the sky when we pulled into her driveway and walked up to the door. Not two minutes later, it was gone.
We may, or may not see such a beautiful set of rainbows ever again....but Tots and I got to share a rare, special moment, all because I took a breath and chose to show her this. As if God, Himself, orchestrated these rainbows....to remind me to stop worrying about the clock all of the time? To remember my blessings? To know that Tots is a deeply loving, caring, beautiful, and observant person who really "gets it" and that if I just stop for one minute, I could learn so much from her.....?
I don't know, but I do know the value of a rainbow.
So, ask me if a rainbow is worth it...
I'll tell you, "Oh yes. It's worth more than you know."
Sunday, September 8, 2013
Friday, September 6, 2013
When Mommy is Tired....
Oh man....it happened last night. And, I feel like a mommy-failure. I was tired, and didn't even hear my own baby crying, like six inches away from my head. She was all-out crying, and I was laying there, asleep. When hubby came out of the bathroom and called my name, I jolted awake and feared that something was wrong. And it was.....I let my tired be more important than my baby's cries.
Horrible. Rotten. Mommy. Moment.
And then this morning, I cried in the shower. Not just *sniff, sniff* cry. But that "I-am-so-tired-I-don't-know-what-to-do-but-cry" ugly cry. I hoped that no one heard me and I tried to stop sniffing when I turned the water off, but it was hard. Because I fell asleep, again, while hubby was getting dressed.
Then, I read two articles about babies dying after accidentally being left in parked cars...a reoccurring nightmare that I've been having about Toots for over a week now. In one of the stories that I read, a baby was suffering so much, that she pulled all of her hair out before she....well, you know.
Then, I held my Emi so tight and started crying again. I'm so afraid of my exhaustion right now, I can't even begin to explain it. I'm terrified to get in the car and go somewhere because I fear that I'll either leave her at home alone, or in the car. As with KP, I put the diaper bag on the floor underneath the car seat...as a precaution....because I don't want to have to live that nightmare. See diaper bag, see baby. Pick up diaper bag, pick up baby. But, I'm worried that I am just that tired, which leads to distraction, which could lead to life-changing disaster. I'm running on stolen 30-minute naps in the middle of the night while I hold my refluxy baby in a semi-upright position on the sofa, and coffee in the morning. "Keep moving" I tell myself, "Keep moving, and you'll be ok."
But still, I am tired.
Then, I tell myself to get a grip. Real mommies, real women, don't act like this. Get control of yourself, stay vigilant, and keep moving. I'll eventually get that Sunday afternoon nap that I've been desiring, and I'll be back to my normal self. Back to the normal fears and concerns of mommy-hood, not the near debilitating phobias that plague my rest-starved brain.
And, I cuddle my little baby, as my big girl watches Veggie Tales. We'll go do something today. And I will have my panic moments, but I'll keep moving, with my girls, and always check, double-check, triple-check, to make sure that they are both with me.
Horrible. Rotten. Mommy. Moment.
And then this morning, I cried in the shower. Not just *sniff, sniff* cry. But that "I-am-so-tired-I-don't-know-what-to-do-but-cry" ugly cry. I hoped that no one heard me and I tried to stop sniffing when I turned the water off, but it was hard. Because I fell asleep, again, while hubby was getting dressed.
Then, I read two articles about babies dying after accidentally being left in parked cars...a reoccurring nightmare that I've been having about Toots for over a week now. In one of the stories that I read, a baby was suffering so much, that she pulled all of her hair out before she....well, you know.
Then, I held my Emi so tight and started crying again. I'm so afraid of my exhaustion right now, I can't even begin to explain it. I'm terrified to get in the car and go somewhere because I fear that I'll either leave her at home alone, or in the car. As with KP, I put the diaper bag on the floor underneath the car seat...as a precaution....because I don't want to have to live that nightmare. See diaper bag, see baby. Pick up diaper bag, pick up baby. But, I'm worried that I am just that tired, which leads to distraction, which could lead to life-changing disaster. I'm running on stolen 30-minute naps in the middle of the night while I hold my refluxy baby in a semi-upright position on the sofa, and coffee in the morning. "Keep moving" I tell myself, "Keep moving, and you'll be ok."
But still, I am tired.
Then, I tell myself to get a grip. Real mommies, real women, don't act like this. Get control of yourself, stay vigilant, and keep moving. I'll eventually get that Sunday afternoon nap that I've been desiring, and I'll be back to my normal self. Back to the normal fears and concerns of mommy-hood, not the near debilitating phobias that plague my rest-starved brain.
And, I cuddle my little baby, as my big girl watches Veggie Tales. We'll go do something today. And I will have my panic moments, but I'll keep moving, with my girls, and always check, double-check, triple-check, to make sure that they are both with me.
Friday, August 23, 2013
Curse Of the Second (and, as I am told subsequent) Born
Well, Hubster is upstairs with Tots (KP's newest nickname), and Toots (Emi's newest nickname) is downstairs here with me, in her swing. I hear her gurgling and cooing as I type (she's supposed to be asleep), and I'll collect her if she starts to getting upset, but I wanted to at least start this post. Actually, it's more of a letter to my second born....because I know how it is. I know what it's like.....and I know that her frustration is real, because I have it, too.
Dearest Little Baby Emily,
Mommy gets it. She understands. You have the blessing and, at the same time curse, of being the second born child. I know what it's like, because I, too, am the second born child. And, if you look even deeper, I'm the youngest of a group of six, spanning two generations. By the time they got to me, they were just plain tired. Though I have never felt unloved, I have felt unnoticed (unless I did something stupid, then all eyes were on me). So, here are some things that I totally understand....
1) Sometimes, there are times where you have to cry for an extra two minutes because the older child needs something, like a rock, from outside RIGHT NOW, and Daddy-and/or-Mommy-have-to-attend-to-that-need-because-holy-lord-of-lords-her-tantrum-will-bring-the-house-down-and-the-neighbors-will-call-CPS-but-you're-so-laid-back-and-all-that-you're-cool-no-big-deal-really. And for you, it's no big deal really, because as far as you know, there's always been kid #1 in your life. You don't know anything different from that. Which is probably a good thing. Just know that Mommy doesn't think that your needs are any less important. I promise, I don't. But, I also know that it can seem like that.
2) You will love and adore your older sibling like nobody's tomorrow, and sometimes, you'll feel like they are ready to totally and completely dismiss your existence. For the most part, at times, they probably are. Don't forget, they had the 'pleasure' of being the absolute center of everyone's world for a time. They didn't have to acknowledge any other child's presence, let alone right to breathe. But She will love you, still....even if they won't say so in front of their friends. It can be hard, but you'll survive. And you'll still look up to her, and she'll still look at you, and you'll be the best of friends.
3) All that you want to do is play a game with someone. You have the pleasure of having an instant playmate. You will never know anything different. But you can know that sometimes, it feels like no one wants to spend any one-on-one time with you. That is simply not true. Others get busy and have to tend to other stuff....or everyone always has to be included in what you want to do......or you have to compromise on what you want to do because others (mainly the older one) doesn't want to/doesn't like whatever activity you want. As a fellow second-born, I will always do my best to advocate for you when it's your turn to pick the activity. I get it......it sucks royally, but you know.....in a messed up way, it really does prepare you for adult life.....
4) Always being compared to your older sibling sucks. Big time. "Oh, well, older child liked this, and you should, too." "Older child NEVER did this, why are you doing it??" "Older child ALWAYS did this, why won't you??" "Older child excelled at this subject/activity, why can't you?" I know that what you really want is to be seen as an individual. I see that.
5) Hearing the words, "If you had been born first, there would NOT have been a second." Here is my thought on that one: "Gee, thanks for letting me know that my very existence has made you want to actively rip out your reproductive organs with a plastic fork. Thanks for making me feel like I was the worst thing that had ever happened to you in your life. So much so, that you were willing to sterilize yourself with nail clippers so that you wouldn't have anymore children. Sorry that my undiagnosed medical problems made you hate children. Sorry that I made your life suck. Sorry." There are things that you will NEVER hear from me. Know why? Because I heard them. Yes, they were said in a joking manner, but those kinds of words hurt. A lot. I am happy that you are my second born. I am also happy that I can recognize when you aren't feeling well and, instead of chalking it up to having an overly fussy/needy baby, I can call the doctor and discuss what I feel is the problem. Let me tell you, the Kroger-brand Mylanta seems to have made your life a little easier.
Your cuddles and snuggles are just as precious to me as KP's. They are also different because, well, YOU are different. You are your own special, wonderful creation, and I celebrate that each and every day. I can already tell that our relationship is different (as it should be). We don't have to talk much, because we understand each other on a different level. That's the kind of relationship your great-grandmother and I had. We didn't have to talk much, and she already knew....she was a second-born, too.
So, you see...you're in good company. You are my little baby. My little baby who smiles and coos. Who loves everyone. Who wants to be acknowledged. Who may choose to fly under the radar, or sing from the highest mountains. Who has her own likes and dislikes. Her own talents. Who just wants to be herself. Know that mommy is here for the ride...here to help you navigate that crazy world of second-born status, to give you love, hugs, cuddles, and kisses for just being you.
And remember....Mommy gets it.
Dearest Little Baby Emily,
Mommy gets it. She understands. You have the blessing and, at the same time curse, of being the second born child. I know what it's like, because I, too, am the second born child. And, if you look even deeper, I'm the youngest of a group of six, spanning two generations. By the time they got to me, they were just plain tired. Though I have never felt unloved, I have felt unnoticed (unless I did something stupid, then all eyes were on me). So, here are some things that I totally understand....
1) Sometimes, there are times where you have to cry for an extra two minutes because the older child needs something, like a rock, from outside RIGHT NOW, and Daddy-and/or-Mommy-have-to-attend-to-that-need-because-holy-lord-of-lords-her-tantrum-will-bring-the-house-down-and-the-neighbors-will-call-CPS-but-you're-so-laid-back-and-all-that-you're-cool-no-big-deal-really. And for you, it's no big deal really, because as far as you know, there's always been kid #1 in your life. You don't know anything different from that. Which is probably a good thing. Just know that Mommy doesn't think that your needs are any less important. I promise, I don't. But, I also know that it can seem like that.
2) You will love and adore your older sibling like nobody's tomorrow, and sometimes, you'll feel like they are ready to totally and completely dismiss your existence. For the most part, at times, they probably are. Don't forget, they had the 'pleasure' of being the absolute center of everyone's world for a time. They didn't have to acknowledge any other child's presence, let alone right to breathe. But She will love you, still....even if they won't say so in front of their friends. It can be hard, but you'll survive. And you'll still look up to her, and she'll still look at you, and you'll be the best of friends.
3) All that you want to do is play a game with someone. You have the pleasure of having an instant playmate. You will never know anything different. But you can know that sometimes, it feels like no one wants to spend any one-on-one time with you. That is simply not true. Others get busy and have to tend to other stuff....or everyone always has to be included in what you want to do......or you have to compromise on what you want to do because others (mainly the older one) doesn't want to/doesn't like whatever activity you want. As a fellow second-born, I will always do my best to advocate for you when it's your turn to pick the activity. I get it......it sucks royally, but you know.....in a messed up way, it really does prepare you for adult life.....
4) Always being compared to your older sibling sucks. Big time. "Oh, well, older child liked this, and you should, too." "Older child NEVER did this, why are you doing it??" "Older child ALWAYS did this, why won't you??" "Older child excelled at this subject/activity, why can't you?" I know that what you really want is to be seen as an individual. I see that.
5) Hearing the words, "If you had been born first, there would NOT have been a second." Here is my thought on that one: "Gee, thanks for letting me know that my very existence has made you want to actively rip out your reproductive organs with a plastic fork. Thanks for making me feel like I was the worst thing that had ever happened to you in your life. So much so, that you were willing to sterilize yourself with nail clippers so that you wouldn't have anymore children. Sorry that my undiagnosed medical problems made you hate children. Sorry that I made your life suck. Sorry." There are things that you will NEVER hear from me. Know why? Because I heard them. Yes, they were said in a joking manner, but those kinds of words hurt. A lot. I am happy that you are my second born. I am also happy that I can recognize when you aren't feeling well and, instead of chalking it up to having an overly fussy/needy baby, I can call the doctor and discuss what I feel is the problem. Let me tell you, the Kroger-brand Mylanta seems to have made your life a little easier.
Your cuddles and snuggles are just as precious to me as KP's. They are also different because, well, YOU are different. You are your own special, wonderful creation, and I celebrate that each and every day. I can already tell that our relationship is different (as it should be). We don't have to talk much, because we understand each other on a different level. That's the kind of relationship your great-grandmother and I had. We didn't have to talk much, and she already knew....she was a second-born, too.
So, you see...you're in good company. You are my little baby. My little baby who smiles and coos. Who loves everyone. Who wants to be acknowledged. Who may choose to fly under the radar, or sing from the highest mountains. Who has her own likes and dislikes. Her own talents. Who just wants to be herself. Know that mommy is here for the ride...here to help you navigate that crazy world of second-born status, to give you love, hugs, cuddles, and kisses for just being you.
And remember....Mommy gets it.
Monday, August 19, 2013
I have a two-year old....
What else can I say? I have a two-year old child who has boundless energy! Too bad my energy isn't quite as endless as hers!!
But, I'll take it....even if there are moments that make me insane........like these "precious moments" from Friday:
So today, I was hoping that by taking her to the park that she'd be tired this afternoon. Boy, was I wrong.....
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But then, she'll do some amazingly cute stuff.....
Dear Lord, just get me through the rest of August. I didn't sleep Friday night (working) didn't nap on Saturday or Sunday, and I haven't had any real down-time...and gracious-goodness, my brain is fried so I'm going to stop this post right now!
And the baby just pooped my pants....again.
But, I'll take it....even if there are moments that make me insane........like these "precious moments" from Friday:
 |
| But I LIKE putting markers in my mouth! |
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| Hurricane Katie-Pie, Category 3 |
 |
| All that I heard was, "Yipee!! Yipee!!" Then, I came around the corner and she told me, "I was just filing papers" |
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| Lip gloss goes all over, right? |
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| Because, yes...I had to grab my camera. |
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| Luckily, I was able to somewhat contain the play sand..... |
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| My netbook didn't survive. |
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| Can Mommy have her camera back, please? |
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| Just in case you didn't catch the magnitude of the "snow" |
But then, she'll do some amazingly cute stuff.....
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| "Ems shouldn't be alone during tummy time" |
Dear Lord, just get me through the rest of August. I didn't sleep Friday night (working) didn't nap on Saturday or Sunday, and I haven't had any real down-time...and gracious-goodness, my brain is fried so I'm going to stop this post right now!
And the baby just pooped my pants....again.
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
July 31, 1989
Dear Granddaddy,
It's been 24 years. 24 years since I've heard you laugh. Since I've felt your arms around me. And I want you to know how much I miss you.
I was twelve when you left. I know that it wasn't your choosing, it was God's...and over the years, I've (mostly) made peace with that. But I miss you each and every single day.
I wanted to thank you. For being my grandfather. For teaching me things that no one else could have taught me. For raising me when you could have easily said no. You taught me how to tie my shoe, how to braid my hair, and how to spit watermelon seeds. Because of you, I knew how to work on my first car, change the alternator belt and thermostat. How to fix a flat...when to patch, when to plug, and when to throw it out.
You taught me how to shake hands like I mean it. How to look people in the eye. Reinforced the "Yes, ma'am's and no sirs". You taught me how to count change.
You told me what my worth is. How high my self esteem was. You taught me how a man loves his wife and children. How he cares for his family. How he does what needs to be done, and how his family can always count on him.
You let me ride in the back of the pick-up with my brother and cousins. You took me to "rastlin'" matches on Saturday nights at the Mayborn Center.
You held my hand when I was sick. Never left me, and always made sure that I knew that I was loved.
Not every kid is as lucky as me....to have had someone like you. To pick up the pieces when my little girl heart was broken, abandoned, and alone. And for that, I am always and forever, truly grateful. Because of you, I can make it through anything. Because you told me that I'm tough. And I am. I wouldn't have made it this far without your love and your lessons.
So thank you. I miss you more than words could ever express.
I also want you to know that I'm proud to be your granddaughter. I always have been, and always will be. Cars are different now....I won't necessarily have to teach my girls the same things that you taught me....but because of you, I also picked a good man to be their father. He loves them the same way that you loved me....
I hope that you and Mama are having a great time. She really missed you. I'm happy that you two are together again. But I still miss you.
So, here is a celebration of your life! Here's to you!
Milton Stephen 1929-1989
It's been 24 years. 24 years since I've heard you laugh. Since I've felt your arms around me. And I want you to know how much I miss you.
I was twelve when you left. I know that it wasn't your choosing, it was God's...and over the years, I've (mostly) made peace with that. But I miss you each and every single day.
I wanted to thank you. For being my grandfather. For teaching me things that no one else could have taught me. For raising me when you could have easily said no. You taught me how to tie my shoe, how to braid my hair, and how to spit watermelon seeds. Because of you, I knew how to work on my first car, change the alternator belt and thermostat. How to fix a flat...when to patch, when to plug, and when to throw it out.
You taught me how to shake hands like I mean it. How to look people in the eye. Reinforced the "Yes, ma'am's and no sirs". You taught me how to count change.
You told me what my worth is. How high my self esteem was. You taught me how a man loves his wife and children. How he cares for his family. How he does what needs to be done, and how his family can always count on him.
You let me ride in the back of the pick-up with my brother and cousins. You took me to "rastlin'" matches on Saturday nights at the Mayborn Center.
You held my hand when I was sick. Never left me, and always made sure that I knew that I was loved.
Not every kid is as lucky as me....to have had someone like you. To pick up the pieces when my little girl heart was broken, abandoned, and alone. And for that, I am always and forever, truly grateful. Because of you, I can make it through anything. Because you told me that I'm tough. And I am. I wouldn't have made it this far without your love and your lessons.
So thank you. I miss you more than words could ever express.
I also want you to know that I'm proud to be your granddaughter. I always have been, and always will be. Cars are different now....I won't necessarily have to teach my girls the same things that you taught me....but because of you, I also picked a good man to be their father. He loves them the same way that you loved me....
I hope that you and Mama are having a great time. She really missed you. I'm happy that you two are together again. But I still miss you.
So, here is a celebration of your life! Here's to you!
Milton Stephen 1929-1989
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