Just because my husband works for the government.....

Ok, I have to put this out there, and I hope that I don't get hubby into any hot water, but there are some folks out there who need to know....

Just because he works for the government, does NOT mean that our health care is free.  It does not mean that we are living on easy street.

But most of all, it does NOT mean that he does not work.

In fact, he is one of the hardest working men that I have ever known.  He does stuff.  REAL stuff.  Manned Spaceflight kind of stuff.  He works to advance the knowledge base of the world.  He works to keep our friends safe as they live and work above the Earth.  He has to leave his family to make sure that others can do their jobs.  He accumulates vacation that he never gets to use.  He stresses, he worries, he gets frustrated...just like everyone else.

Taxes come out of his paycheck, just like they do yours.  When you stop and think about it, his taxes have a shorter trip out of his check and back to the government than others.

Don't forget, when someone is bashing ALL government employees, they are bashing my husband...and that pisses me off.  We are your neighbors, your friends, your drinking buddies.  We worry, just as every other normal, working person does.

He works for the government....he is NOT the government.  You see, the government is made up of elected officials.  You, in fact, ARE paying them directly when you compare their paychecks to my husband's paychecks.  When you look at the nation's budget, the meager part that his salary is carved out of doesn't even amount to one-half of one percent.

It's not just him....it's also our friends and loved ones who earn their salary by working for the government.  When you talk trash about them, it hurts.

So all that I'm saying is, when you decide to talk mess about government employees, make sure that you have the right group of people in mind.  You should make sure that your trash talking is directed at POLITICIANS.  Not these hard working women and men at NASA.  Not your friendly mail carriers.  Not the men and women who pick up the trash, work on the roads, keep our national parks and museums open, process passports, and the like.

In closing, if you talk trash about my husband and his co-workers, be prepared to see me go 50 shades of cray-cray from my soapbox.

Thank you, and good night.

Is a rainbow worth it?

Ok, so you read the title and you think, "What kind of question is that?  What is this crazy broad talking about?"  Well, give me a minute, and I'll tell you.

Let me back up by first saying that while I may not be the most religious person, I am deeply spiritual and full of the faith of God.  With that being said, I have told my sweet Tots, maybe once or twice, that only God loves her more than Daddy and Mommy do.  At 2.5 years old (and that .5 years is very important to a person her age) I have believed that if she were actually paying attention to me when I said this, that she didn't really get it.  And that's cool....she's got the rest of her life to get it, right?  Right.

Well, yesterday morning, Tots was doing her typical last minute dwadle in getting out of the door to go to school.  This particular morning was different.  I had to drop Tots off at her Amie's house so that I could get Toots to a doctor's appointment by 9A.  I had packed a breakfast bento box for Tots, got her lunch together, had an extra-extra set of clothes packed in her backpack and had given her the "please behave like a civilized person" talk.  The, "please-for-the-love-of-all-that-is-holy-behave-for-like-a-perfect-angel-for-Amie-so-that-she-will-look-after-you-again-when-Mommy-is-in-a-bind-because-I-trust-her-so-completely-with-you-and-she-is-my-right-hand-woman" talk.  You know the one.  I'm sure that some of you, out there in cyberland, have given that speech to your kids.

So, anyway, it's getting late.  Later than I want it to be, and we need to get going.  For anyone who knows me, you know that I absolutely HATE being late for anything.  Shoot, I even have my babies early!  That's how much I hate being late.

But, it's getting late.  And Tots is doing her thing..  And I'm wanting her to hurry up, because we have to go from Clear Lake to down past the Astrodome by 9A.  That's quite a drive in morning traffic, and it could take upwards of an hour to get there....and we're late.

I finally wrangle Toots into her carseat, and get both girls into the car.  I pull out of the garage and we're off to Amie's house.  As I round the corner from our house, I look up and see an absolutely beautiful rainbow, arced against a sky so perfectly gray, it looked like smooth slate.  The colors were so very vivid, like nothing I had ever seen before.  And I wanted Tots to see it.  Yes, we were running late, but for some reason, I was compelled to pull the car over, take her out of her car seat, hoist her up into the air, and point out this perfect rainbow.  Upon closer inspection, we saw that it was not only a beautiful rainbow, it was a beautiful, PERFECT DOUBLE rainbow!!!  O.  M. G!!!  It was amazing.  It was an unbroken arc across this sky.  It was like all of the color had been removed from the sky so that these rainbows could dance.

I know, I know.....refraction and reflection of light throug a prisim, rhodopsin synthesis and deactivation, visual transduction pathways, blah, blah, blah.....But....

This looked like it had been painted on the sky, at exactly that particular moment in time, to see what decision I would make.  It was a test.  Would I take the time to see the beauty AND show my daughter?  Or, would I rush through it and hope that I would see something like that again?

I took the time.  It wasn't much time, but I took it.  We got out and looked at those rainbows.

As I was putting Tots back in her seat, I said to her, "You see Honey-Bunny?  Those rainbows are God saying, 'I love you.'"

And, with the sincerity that only a two-and-a-half year old can have, she put her hands on my cheeks and said to me, "Mommy, only God loves you more than I do."

To.  My.  Knees.

So, I think that I passed that test.

You see, by the time that we got to Amie's house (less than 5 minutes away) and I told her about it...it was gone.  I mean, it was still hanging in the sky when we pulled into her driveway and walked up to the door. Not two minutes later, it was gone.

We may, or may not see such a beautiful set of rainbows ever again....but Tots and I got to share a rare, special moment, all because I took a breath and chose to show her this.  As if God, Himself, orchestrated these rainbows....to remind me to stop worrying about the clock all of the time?  To remember my blessings?  To know that Tots is a deeply loving, caring, beautiful, and observant person who really "gets it" and that if I just stop for one minute, I could learn so much from her.....?

I don't know, but I do know the value of a rainbow.

So, ask me if a rainbow is worth it...

I'll tell you, "Oh yes.  It's worth more than you know."

His vs. Hers: To-Do List Challenge

His:

Hers:

Simple enough, right?  Let's hope so!

When Mommy is Tired....

Oh man....it happened last night.  And, I feel like a mommy-failure.  I was tired, and didn't even hear my own baby crying, like six inches away from my head.  She was all-out crying, and I was laying there, asleep.  When hubby came out of the bathroom and called my name, I jolted awake and feared that something was wrong.  And it was.....I let my tired be more important than my baby's cries.

Horrible.  Rotten.  Mommy. Moment.

And then this morning, I cried in the shower.  Not just *sniff, sniff* cry.  But that "I-am-so-tired-I-don't-know-what-to-do-but-cry" ugly cry.  I hoped that no one heard me and I tried to stop sniffing when I turned the water off, but it was hard.  Because I fell asleep, again, while hubby was getting dressed.

Then, I read two articles about babies dying after accidentally being left in parked cars...a reoccurring nightmare that I've been having about Toots for over a week now.  In one of the stories that I read, a baby was suffering so much, that she pulled all of her hair out before she....well, you know.

Then, I held my Emi so tight and started crying again.  I'm so afraid of my exhaustion right now, I can't even begin to explain it.  I'm terrified to get in the car and go somewhere because I fear that I'll either leave her at home alone, or in the car.  As with KP, I put the diaper bag on the floor underneath the car seat...as a precaution....because I don't want to have to live that nightmare.  See diaper bag, see baby.  Pick up diaper bag, pick up baby.  But, I'm worried that I am just that tired, which leads to distraction, which could lead to life-changing disaster.  I'm running on stolen 30-minute naps in the middle of the night while I hold my refluxy baby in a semi-upright position on the sofa, and coffee in the morning.  "Keep moving" I tell myself, "Keep moving, and you'll be ok."

But still, I am tired.

Then, I tell myself to get a grip.  Real mommies, real women, don't act like this.  Get control of yourself, stay vigilant, and keep moving.  I'll eventually get that Sunday afternoon nap that I've been desiring, and I'll be back to my normal self.  Back to the normal fears and concerns of mommy-hood, not the near debilitating phobias that plague my rest-starved brain.

And, I cuddle my little baby, as my big girl watches Veggie Tales.  We'll go do something today.  And I will have my panic moments, but I'll keep moving, with my girls, and always check, double-check, triple-check, to make sure that they are both with me.