Well, I haven't talked about it, because I've never experienced it. I cannot imagine what the loss of a child does to a family. How a mother has her very soul ripped from her being. How a father feels powerless to fight back the darkness. How brothers and sisters wonder "what happened". How grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends try to process tragedy. Now, I will tell you that I have held friends who have lost their babies. I have tried to absorb the pain from them....tried to help it to pass....but I can't. I can only be there...be there to listen to stories about their babies, dry tears as they flow, pray for healing, pray for comfort for them.
I know how much I love my babies, and I know that I have no idea what I would do without them. When pregnant, I worried about my babies as any other mother would. But, I planned, I prayed, I held my breath, and in the end, we brought our babies home. They are healthy and happy, and the delight of my soul.
I simply cannot comprehend the darkness that I would see and feel if they were not here. And that's why my heart goes out to the families who live with this reality each and every day. Knowing that there is always an empty spot at the dinner table. One less smile in vacation pictures. One trick-or-treater missing. One set of unpurchased Christmas gifts.
I don't know how these families can find the strength. It is not the proper order of things. Parents should not have to bury their children. It's wrong. Plain and simple. It shouldn't be this way.
Every single day, my heart goes out to my friends, and to strangers, who live with this reality. I pray for them, for their babies, for understanding....though I'm guessing that understanding will never come....it can't...not when life happens in such an out of order way.
So, here is my prayer for all of my family, friends, acquaintances, and strangers who mourn the loss of their babies every day:
Dear Heavenly Father,
We don't always know the why behind Your decisions, just that we must trust Your decisions. It's not always easy, but You know best. I pray that You wrap your loving and healing arms around the hearts and lives of families who mourn the loss of their precious babies. Touch their hearts and minds so that they know You are the only One who loves these precious babies more. Help us to understand that even though their lives may have been too short for us, they are eternally and supremely happy in Your presence. As we miss them, remind us of how they are a part of the wind that blows, the rain that falls, and the sun that shines. Please let the babies know that they are loved, cherished, and missed more than words can ever express. We carry them in our hearts always and await the day when that joyous reunion happens, and the families are complete.
Mother Mary, please care for the children as only you can. Blessed Mother, also care for those left behind to mourn them. Your heart knows the pain of loss, and also knows the blessing of healing. Help us to trust in the Lord as you have trusted in Him and help us to be accepting of the Healing that only He can offer.
Amen
