In Defense of the Crafting Moms and Dads

Because I am one.  I have friends who are.  Never once have I thought that they were out to "stick it to me" or anyone else.  In fact, I admire their talents.  We all have different specialties.  One dear friend can crochet the most beautiful wearable art that I've ever seen.  I'm fortunate enough to have some of her work.  One should get paid for the work she can do in Photoshop (Back to School photos).  One can sew and embroider the cutest outfits that my girls have ever worn (birthday outfits). 

Let me tell you how this one started.  A person posted a link to a blog entry where (in keeping with the Mommy Wars) the writer blasted moms who craft, have themes for their kids' parties, try to capture the perfect photo, and/or sew.

The person who shared the article had (what I felt were) some not very nice things to say about moms like me:  The ones who craft, throw those parties, photograph, bake, sew, scrapbook, cook organic, whatever.  Someone else chimed in with not so kind (almost snarky-mean) words of agreement.  I won't repeat what I read, but I will say that I was very put-off by the exchange.  Put off enough to do a little friends list clean-up.  (It wasn't just this that prompted it, I had been contemplating it for a while because of the generally negative nature of things that I kept reading from this person). 

So, in defense of the Crafting (or whatever hobby-engaging) Mom and Dad, I decided to write a list of thoughts that came to me while reading the article, and the Facebook comments on this person's wall.  I will try to keep it brief, but I feel that Moms and Dads like us deserve a break.

• I craft because I enjoy doing it.  Even if I didn't have kids, I'd do it.
• I bake because I enjoy doing it.  I also run a successful baking business.  My cakes, cookies, and cupcakes are elaborate because I train hard to excel at my craft and ultimately, my business,
• I am well educated, and well stimulated.  Smart people engage in hobbies, too.
• I put together themed birthday parties for my children because it is actually what they want, not me.  Ask KP.  Last year, she requested nearly every Disney character be present at her party.  This year, she asked for Merida.  Merida is the theme.  She's a great kid, and doesn't always get everything that she wants.  I don't see an issue with giving her what she wants on her birthday.  
• If you think, for one single second, that my kids' parties, my crafts, or my dinners have anything to do with you, or that I'm making you feel less than adequate, then you give yourself more importance in my life than you really have.  Also, you are giving me more importance in your life than I want.  I promise you, I didn't give you one single thought when putting these parties together (you know, the ones for MY KIDS).  I did not set out to 'stick it to you', or anything of the sort.  Actually, you're not even on the invite list anyway, so I don't understand your concern.
• I cook because I enjoy doing it.  If you don't like to cook, allrightythen...don't cook.
• I didn't think that it was fair to say that parents like this should stop doing what they are doing.  Why don't you learn how to do some of the things that we do?  Maybe if you had better time management skills, you would have time to craft, cook, bake, sew.  Maybe if you weren't so busy trying to get everyone to be like you, you'd also be happier (I don't know, just a guess).  If you are having feelings of inadequacy, I suggest some type of therapy.  Try blogging.  It's fun!
• I don't sew.
• I don't go out of my way to do organic.
• I hate kale.
• I take the photos that are there.  You know what?  They are all perfect to me because my family is in them.
• I am not looking for perfection.  I am trying to be a good wife, mother, sister, friend, daughter, and niece.
• I am not out to impress you.  I don't care if you are impressed or ticked-off by what I do for my family and loved ones.  What I care about is that those people know that they are loved and cared about.
• I have always been an over-achiever.  This is nothing new.  However, if you knew me better, then you would already know this.  
• I'd be more than happy to teach you some things.  Just ask.
• I'd be happy to do these things for you, if you're nice and ask.  
• I have created exactly one pin on Pinterest.  It had nothing to do with a craft or food.  It was of my amazing husband working in MCC.  He was looking quite awesome (as always) in a shirt and tie that I picked out.  The story is about NASA, not my child's anything.
• If you don't want to broaden your horizons, fine.  Keep on believing in a flat world.  Mine is a globe, full of new and exciting things to learn and experience.
• Have you thought about how your attitude affects your kids?  You are helping to shape them as individuals.  I hope that you are helping to shape them into nice individuals, not mean girls and boys.  There's enough of that going around.

Is that enough?  No, it's not.  But in order to help end these stupid Mommy Wars, we MUST stop trying to make others feel like they are doing something wrong.  Breast vs. Formula, Organic vs. Non-organic, Home School vs. Public School, Vaccinate vs. Non-Vaccinate...Goodness!!  While I definitely have my own opinions on each of these subjects, I whole-heartedly admit that we're all just trying to do what's best for our families.

I know, you're thinking, "What about this list that you just wrote?  Isn't it engaging in Mommy Wars?"  No, it's saying, "As long as I'm not asking you for money, as long as I'm not demanding your time, as long as I'm not telling you 'what you need to do' (how I hate that!) then you shouldn't be so worried about what I'm doing.  Rear your kids, I'll rear mine.  Maybe we can meet in the middle."

Now, I'm off to plan our kids' new playroom, decorations for our new house, and KP's birthday party.  I WILL be pulling out the Cricut and my new Silhouette.  There WILL be vinyl, cute labels, and something about "The Abbott Family, Established 2010".  There WILL be a "Bless this home, and all who enter".  And some handmade wreaths.  And seasonal banners for the mantle.  And photos on canvas.  And whatever other cute stuff that I find inspiration for on Pinterest.

Crafting...cheaper than therapy...(maybe)!